I love Apple (I guess when I say that, people think of a Technology company more than the actual fruit), you guessed it, the technology company, precisely incorporation. The first reason is that they invented a very sophisticated toy called ‘iPhone’ which has changed the way people communicate with each other. Pre-iPhone days, we used to talk over phone, now we are busy browsing and playing with ‘Apps’. The iPhone was built anyway for non-conversational purpose as the call drop rate beats my son’s mathematical capabilities.

Secondly, they recently filed law suit over HTC for violating their patents which gave me an idea for patenting my stuff. So briefly iPatent..

  1. The lane that iDrive when I commute to my office between 8:45 am and 9:00 am.
  2. The 2nd bowl in my office restroom where iNormally piss.
  3. The coffee flavor iDrink everyday at the office from the upper second bin in the pantry.
  4. The direction iLook at my monitor day in and day out in the office.
  5. iCan’t list everything in here you see, they run into millions.

Anyway, anyone who are breach of one or more of the above patents are liable for facing iLaw suits and they will be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

I also thank Apple for teaching me how to do Product upgrades, for example.

  1. iPhone
  2. iPhone 3G
  3. iPhone 3GS
  4. iPhone 3GSF (that F is the flash that they are going to include in their 4th generation iPhone).
  5. iPhone 3GSFB (you can also get an iPhone in ‘Blue’ starting from 5th generation iPhone).
  6. iPhone 3GSFB* (they thought that having too many letter might backfire their marketing campaign, so it might well be i2Phone, which means, you are allowed to make calls from now)

Wow! I wrote an OS (many times)

Ever since people started calling Apple’s Mac OS, Leopard, etc an Operating System, I wondered why is it so famous. After all I wrote so many pieces of software that works, of course only for that client and only for that environment and no where else. If writing a program that is hardware specific, software specific and device and environment specific can be called OS, I guess I wrote many.

Well, I am sure that Android will be welcomed by all those wits out there eager to write their apps that can be ‘tested’, ‘deployed’ and ‘used’ without paying to some nut-cracker. Apple’s price gouging will some day be dealt with a whip, until then, enjoy its exuberantly priced caps. By the way I heard that they are coming up with a magic wand, but it only works in persons named Panther wearing a white shirt over black trousers, gray tie and brown buckled belt. Oops! that’s still too generic I guess for Apple. The Panther should be 24 and weigh exactly 150 pounds. That’s it I guess! No one last thing, is he wearing Hush Puppies?

Over the years, the joke that Apple had played upon us was in more ways humiliating. Calling a piece of software running faster than Windows, etc which has been customized to run only on its machine is actually more than a joke. I am not a Apple hater, I hate Apple products, not for being so niche, but being so ‘close’ and they come with a billion ifs and buts. Its like selling a bulb that only works in my bedroom in broad day light, who cares!

I guess most of you can claim, “I wrote an OS”.

The Golden Apple

Due to my present working assignment, I have been using Mac Book Pro for around 2 months now. For 16 long years, PC dominated my work environment and honestly I got used to that.

So during these few weeks, involuntarily, my brain has started comparing both these machines, apple to apple, no I guess I should say PC. Mac is a wonderful machine no doubt, sleek, beautiful, slender and built like a rock. So far the OS has been good and there was nothing that came up annoying using its features. But the most annoying part is the keyboard, its not a standard ISO layout (most of the keys are..) and since I do lot of programming, I desperately need keys like page up/down, begin-end, delete-backspace, etc. You can achieve those things in Mac, but you have to do it by using more than one key, sometimes three. It has cut down my typing speed drastically,  I should say.

And, I was also surprised that Macs now support Intel processors and my machine has one. So I thought, why the heck it costs more than $2000 ? It could not find the rationality. The A/C power adapter has magnetic end and costs $200 to replace, a power adapter for $200 ?! shame. If I were a manager, I would have bought 4 Dell laptops than buying one Mac, you know why? the ROI on a Mac is always negative. The processors change so often that before  you open the box, the next one comes up. With rapidly changing hardware environment, why would someone spend so much on something so dead. Mac may work for personal users, who wish to make their laptop look white with that cute logo of apple. But again, what is it that you are looking for, a golden shoe who you do not wish to use or a regular one who you don’t care using it regularly?

I do not have any personal grudge on apple, but I think apple wants the same monopoly like MS did a few years ago. Everyone cried fowl and now I see amazing reviews for the new Mac, giving it a 5 start rating. I guess if someone spends $2000, you can build a laptop thousand times better than a Mac. Its not about the style, its about the use.

I don’t care how my laptop looks from outside, from inside, it should rock.

So to all those apple fanatics who buy stuff for sake, think before you buy the next one.

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