Sideways

iPatent

I love Apple (I guess when I say that, people think of a Technology company more than the actual fruit), you guessed it, the technology company, precisely incorporation. The first reason is that they invented a very sophisticated toy called ‘iPhone’ which has changed the way people communicate with each other. Pre-iPhone days, we used to talk over phone, now we are busy browsing and playing with ‘Apps’. The iPhone was built anyway for non-conversational purpose as the call drop rate beats my son’s mathematical capabilities.

Secondly, they recently filed law suit over HTC for violating their patents which gave me an idea for patenting my stuff. So briefly iPatent..

  1. The lane that iDrive when I commute to my office between 8:45 am and 9:00 am.
  2. The 2nd bowl in my office restroom where iNormally piss.
  3. The coffee flavor iDrink everyday at the office from the upper second bin in the pantry.
  4. The direction iLook at my monitor day in and day out in the office.
  5. iCan’t list everything in here you see, they run into millions.

Anyway, anyone who are breach of one or more of the above patents are liable for facing iLaw suits and they will be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

I also thank Apple for teaching me how to do Product upgrades, for example.

  1. iPhone
  2. iPhone 3G
  3. iPhone 3GS
  4. iPhone 3GSF (that F is the flash that they are going to include in their 4th generation iPhone).
  5. iPhone 3GSFB (you can also get an iPhone in ‘Blue’ starting from 5th generation iPhone).
  6. iPhone 3GSFB* (they thought that having too many letter might backfire their marketing campaign, so it might well be i2Phone, which means, you are allowed to make calls from now)

Federarized

While watching the Australian Open finals, something caught my eye in the midst of spectators which stamped authority on my ‘distinguished’ thoughts of Federer. Someone in the crowd had a play-card saying “New word in the dictionary – ‘Federarized’ “. How true! the word has enough implications and weight and a hard to describe patten of events. It looks so simple yet pouncing. There is certain force that comes with special words and vocalize the personality that stands behind. Game apart, the authoritative nature by which Federer has reclaimed ‘his’ title was spellbinding.

Server after serve, point after point Federer demonstrated why he is considered Open-Era’s best player, ever. I often wonder how important are these people’s contributions to the society, considering they play mostly at professional level. Do they really add quality to our lives in particular when a crown after crown is stacked in their shelves. Can we really think outside the box when what we watch is mere sport? I guess these are more of self-questionnaire than generalized queries. Irrelevant as they are, persons like Federer exemplifies success at individual level. They personify a fact and remind us what hard work and dedication yield and constantly remind us that we all serve a purpose at our own level. Federarized is more than an adjective beyond personality.

Yesterday was just a grand-slam and two individuals were trying hard to reach a goal they waited to reach so desperately over last 2 weeks. Murray may have lost, but he has more to gain than to loose as he got to witness a master-class of tennis, at a level few could even dream and was standing opposite to that legend, in awe and Federarized. It is a lesson to all of us of how important it is to follow our dream and reach it step by step.

I wait for my day to be FEDERARIZED.

Blessed I was to have seen such great personality with one racquet hitting one ball at a time.

Why 3 Idiots?

Its been really a while since I watched a good movie. I got a chance to watch in awe, ‘3 Idiots’ along with my family. Movies with messages have always inspired me, much better when the telling is ‘earthy’. Rajkumar Hirani has unique ability on this front, his last movie “Lage Raho’ was a hearty entertainer with a message, I guess very few can even think to pursue. Well, the zealot inside me kicked in ever since I heard the movie title, but nonetheless gave any importance to it as my expectations were reserved until the release time. Anyway, after watching the movie (without reading the inspirational base, the book called ‘5 Point Someone’ by Chetan Bhagat) one thing that kicked me off was, why ‘3 Idiots’? Does that title mean that its about 3 idiots in that engineering college? Yes and No is my take. After thinking, actually listening to the songs, I found the clue to the movie title. The title is not just perfect and apt but adds icing to the cake (message). You are just as curious now as I was and the answer is.. ‘Idiot=Heart’. The story is about 3 guys, who have listened to their hearts. And where did I find the clue? Well the most buzzing number from the movie which goes “All izz well..”. Swanand Kirkire the lyricist penned brilliant lines into this easy yet memorable number from Shantanu Moitra (his last work of music was in Parineeta).

The lines in the number goes…

Dil jo tera baat baat pe
Ghabraaye
Dil pe rakh ke haath usae tu fuslaa le
Dil idiot hai pyaar se usko samjha le

and there it lies, the clue. Giving a message is not a big deal, we do that to everyone we know almost every day. Seldom are those instances where the listener really likes what you convey, and to convince people in millions is no mean feat and that is what Hirani had proved himself once again. Movies forum is mainly for entertainment, it is such time that a person would like to be relaxed and have fun, more than anything its a form of escape. What better when you get a Dollar for a Cent. Go fetch.

Wow! I wrote an OS (many times)

Ever since people started calling Apple’s Mac OS, Leopard, etc an Operating System, I wondered why is it so famous. After all I wrote so many pieces of software that works, of course only for that client and only for that environment and no where else. If writing a program that is hardware specific, software specific and device and environment specific can be called OS, I guess I wrote many.

Well, I am sure that Android will be welcomed by all those wits out there eager to write their apps that can be ‘tested’, ‘deployed’ and ‘used’ without paying to some nut-cracker. Apple’s price gouging will some day be dealt with a whip, until then, enjoy its exuberantly priced caps. By the way I heard that they are coming up with a magic wand, but it only works in persons named Panther wearing a white shirt over black trousers, gray tie and brown buckled belt. Oops! that’s still too generic I guess for Apple. The Panther should be 24 and weigh exactly 150 pounds. That’s it I guess! No one last thing, is he wearing Hush Puppies?

Over the years, the joke that Apple had played upon us was in more ways humiliating. Calling a piece of software running faster than Windows, etc which has been customized to run only on its machine is actually more than a joke. I am not a Apple hater, I hate Apple products, not for being so niche, but being so ‘close’ and they come with a billion ifs and buts. Its like selling a bulb that only works in my bedroom in broad day light, who cares!

I guess most of you can claim, “I wrote an OS”.

Cut Copy & Paste

Wondering myself as to why I am writing this? Sometimes, egological influences act upon us and condemn the good and brings out aggression of uselessness (pretty strong sentence, ha!). In simple terms, something goes in our mind and we are stuck to that as a chewed bubblegum in a church seat, and we refuse to come to terms to reality. How often do we come across this situation, oh aplenty.

Vivekananda had given a single sentence truth behind human miseries, I would say single word, “OTHERS”. Although plural, single does that trick. Anyway, our post-cricket discussions have been mainly confined to 3 things lately, Sachin Tendulkar, iPhone Vs Droid and tickers. I would say that we can also add little pornography to that list, but its more on confrontational side than discussion. Coming to the point, this brief essay is about “cut, copy & paste”.

Whether we like or not, we often do things in CCP mode a.k.a. cut, copy & paste. Most people buy houses because their dear and near did, of course we always have our own justifications, adding more hippocracy. We buy cars like OTHERS, and its a CCP. We buy electronic like others, another CCP. And interestingly, phones have joined this bandwagon, more so, the famous iPhone. A single known human gadget exorbitant in all aspects and widely considered a must have. Of late, there were so called iPhone killers, destroyers, masters and what not and technology websites have forgot what to publish and just concentrate on this feast. Droid’s entry was more dramatic and looks like a REPLY to iPhone (REPLY is to satisfy again the egology).

Like any other fool, I spent time in analyzing what is best and what is not, even indulged in heated conversations during our post-cricket marathons. Experts had excerpts and technological buffs and iPhone lovers had their defenses and offenses. It all came to one final point, usability.

Now they are quite a peers with respect to everything, but somehow iPhone is adjudged the WINNER, always (way to go iPhone geeks). However, one point that all ignore at the end of the day is they all knew that the iPhone’s call quality is so poor that you better go to the person whom you want to talk to than call him/her over. Anyway, I leave that to the geeks and lovers.

But, isn’t a phone created to call? OR AM I STUPPID ?@#*!?!

So all the CCPs out their, I congratulate you on getting a new or old iPhone to have fall in love with those apps out there. There are close to 1200 calculator apps and you NEED all of them, right?

Last but not least, I saw an iPhone app, which is a cigarette lighter and gets lit when you shake your iPhone. Now that’s more CCP for you.

Ooops! Last but least, I am an AT&T customer.

Potpourri

SorrowMy heart is with those who have lost their near & dear in Southern India’s floods. I am guilty of not extending any sort of help other than lambasting the officials supervising the relief efforts. Nevertheless good Samaritans from across India have done their citizen duties helping the victims and extending their faith to keep them going. I wish mother nature had little more sympathy on those poor people, which eventually she did, and bless them with crops and fruit.

Chinese aggression as I have mentioned in my twit reminds me Nehru’s description in one word, backstabbing. Powerdavid-and-goliath hungry dictators ruling that land will someday learn the lesson of aggression and more than anyone, history shall repeat again and teach them a message. A wise man shall accept a strong nut than a weak wise. Their identity as a modern nation very much in debts to Nehru’s protege and it seems to me that people who have forgotten their past never will have a future. I am waiting for the time to give the answer!

Terrorist brief siege at army headquarters in Pakistan was the most funniest news I read in recent times. Please forgive me as loss of life is loss of everything for some people. suicidalHowever, terrorists storming army headquarters to me was like terrorists attaching terrorists, which bound to happen one day. You can only wait for the snake to bite you when you milk it for a while. Pakistan’s state policy of ‘sponsored terrorism’ will one day eat itself. It’s like an AIDS patient threatening others that they’ll have sex with others unless they confine to their ideas. The patient will die one day, a MISERABLE DEATH.

Gas prices are on rise in US forecasting greater demand in travel. Someone really thinks that people are brainless dumb asses. gas_prices_largeNever in the history of this great country there was a demand for gas more than in summer. With unemployment closing in on two digits, people are trying to get to all corners to cut the costs. Some greedy bastards set the ‘future’ prices on a speculated demand, which is nothing short of what I call terrorism (inflicting greater pain on mass population without provoking and reason). The Government shall first have to tackle these financial terrorist before running after those whom I think deserves the least of the attention at this time.

Happy Birthday to Truth

MahatmaNo man with the same skin and soul will ever walk on this planet again like the ‘Mahatma’. A true inspiration, lived his life dedicated for peace and truth, he lives amongst every one of us whenever we think of our souls. Other than the GOD himself, I do not think that there is any other soul ever lived who is more simpler than this great ‘Atma’. Mahatma Gandhi has exemplified his deeds following the path of ‘ahimsa’ and personified the world with his thoughts and words.

He is the ‘father of the nation’ to the most vibrant of cultures in the history of mankind and he is the beloved ‘Bapu’ for many a billion. If simplicity is anything but truth, only Gandhi proved why he is the only ‘Mahatma’ to have born as a simple human and spirited us with the great gift of ‘Satya-Agrah’.

It takes for one an entire life, it takes one an entire culture and it takes for one an entire civilization to have achieved what Mahatma has done without sweat and without fear and with a smile that speaks only truth in his life. Very few in our history can cast a shadow as big as Mahatma, one where feels relieved from lies of life, misery and unhappiness.

Mahatma Gandhi has experimented with truth and finally prevailed like no other. He is no GOD but no less, as the GOD himself wonders how he creates such a soul on this planet.

The greatness of this man is his simplicity.

Happy Birthday to MAHATMA, the MAHAN ATMA.

The tale of two Gods

Don’t expect anything close to mythology as my definition of God is a spirit who goes beyond divinity in what they do or perform.

As biased as I can be, nothing shall redeem my love towards Federer and Sachin, the two Gods of two worlds. Unlike any other persons in their era, they have cast huge clouds on all the rest with their love towards their individual games and over-shadowed everyone else with their huge but naturally bread talent and horned skills.

Federer’s loss in US Open final has yet to go down my throat. Not taking anything away from the young and brilliant Del Potro, I attribute his loss mainly to his 1st serve success percentage. We all knew why he is considered the greatest player ever to have played that game. The gamut and array of angles, passes, drops, spins, loops, serves and all the paraphernalia that surrounds tennis this guy possesses, intimidates his rivals to the core. His belief in tennis as his soul and body is simply unmatched. He is divine as he is to the sport and we are all fortunate to be in his era.

World’s apart there is Sachin, whom many consider as God in his own respects and made Cricket as a religion than ever, whose un-mistaken love towards the game brought him the status that no other sports person on this planet can ever have. Always wearing the burden of billion plus aspirations, he had not quenched his thirst to give us more and more and is a viewers delight.

It is not a surprise that he doesn’t have a signature shot as he has mastered everything in the book and has been a book by himself. There are two ways to score a run, hit the ball and run on the wicket and the other, play the ball and run on the wicket. The thin difference of hit and play is what makes Sachin the divine force. Technically he is perfect, aesthetically he is a treat, in execution he is exquisite and in stature he is God.

Words and thesaurus have shrunk my lines, sorry.

Naming Convention

It is a trend in AP to name projects and places after two persons, both do not have any credentials what so ever personally or politically to be considered great people. While one person at least had ‘citizenship’ (please read that a citizen is a person who obeys the land of the law/birth) while the other one was very close to being a terrorist (by definition a terrorist is a person who inflicts damage on society without provocation and with immorality). Keeping this trend the AP Govt. named few projects after YSR and some were being renamed after him. In India we have a unique disease of naming places after people whose contributions normally terrorize people. Of course there are exceptions like Mahatma Gandhi, Nehru, Sastri, Patel, etc.

So, I urge the Govt. of AP to name the newly discovered H1N1 after their favorite leader which actually attributes to their personalities. Similarly Musi River should be named after their favorite leaders as well as Dengue, Leprosy, AIDS, etc after them. They rightly deserve them.

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